Letter of the Week: Freedom of Identity

Ever since my girlfriend dumped me for being, in her words, a 'fucking idiot', I've had an interest in the plight of women. After devouring all the proto-feminist, second and third-wave literature at my local library, my interest was fully piqued. At the time, my major wouldn't allow me to take any subjects in women's studies, but as soon as some spare credits opened up, I shelved my interest in meta-fiction and enrolled in 'Women, Gender and International Politics'.

To be brutally honest, I was at first dismayed. I found that my somewhat masculine way of delivering argument led to my exclusion from discussion. This supposedly inclusive group I'd been reading about was actively excluding me on the basis of my ideas. If they cited appearance or sex, I would have sympathised, but I was there to develop my understanding, and how could I do that without being constantly able to bounce my thoughts off the rest of the class? Nevertheless, as the semester wore on I found myself growing more submissive, more understanding, more feminine. I began to understand what it was to be the other, the downtrodden. For these reasons, I made the decision to identify as an unemployed black lesbian.

Although sexually I am absolutely a man, and although my skin is white and I am very wealthy indeed, I can't help but feel that I don't belong in these groupings. I don't behave like a man - I barely ever hit people, and I don't shout much. I listen to rap music from time to time, and I don't use my credit card that often. Once or twice a week at most, and only for clothes. So anyway, I couldn't help but feel that it would be more honest for me to start identifying more honestly with the groups my behaviour put me in.

In the past, I've been attracted to women, but now that I identify as a lesbian my attractions have taken on a political weight they previously lacked. You've heard of woman-oriented women? Well, I'm a woman-oriented man. At least, I like to fuck them. I refuse to wear make-up or undergo breast augmentation, wear skirts or shave my legs - and I gladly endure the drawbacks I suffer in life for having made these choices. No longer do I have to resign myself to vicariously supporting the struggle through vague communist allusions to 'solidarity' - I know from my reading that now I suffer, despite my appearances, sexuality and socioeconomic status, numerous oppressions that I must fight and overcome. Not without the help of my sisters, of course.

Sadly, I've noticed that more than a little prejudice has been leveled against me, and not from the people you'd expect! Apparently using some stereotype of how an unemployed black lesbian should behave, people are judging me on my skin colour and political orientation. I faced outright hostility in the Womyn's Space, despite my pleas that they should just think of me as a female-to-male transsexual. They treated me like a dilettante - I can't help it if I look like a rich white man! No doubt this is the 'double discrimination' I have read about. Oddly enough, men seem to accept me as readily as they ever did. Sure, I don't come right out and just tell them I'm a black woman - it's a personal matter, not something you just announce - but my consistent efforts to ignore patriarchal dictates have barely been noticed. Just the kind of hypocrisy you'd expect from men! I hope at least that when classes resume, my new identity as the most downtrodden of all will mean my ideas get the attention they deserve.

Frankly, you have to wonder about the women who oppose my decision. I stand for the liberation of all women from the oppression of patriarchy. It's not easy being a woman, let alone black, so you'd think they could cut me some slack here. Clearly the influence of patriarchal capitalism runs deeper than they care to admit. Indeed, I'd suggest that anybody who finds something wrong with my decision take a good long look at their attachment to gendering. In a perfect world, there'd be nothing wrong with a man claiming to be a woman - provided he also acted like one.

Bastet Hatshepsut (formerly Henderson Smith-Whedon)
Baldwin North

(c) 2007 Mr. Morgan